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The Space Between: A place of conversation to discuss God, life, and all the things in between.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Reflecting on My First Lenten Fast

       


  

 This Lenten season has been unlike anything I have ever experienced. It is technically my first as the “solo pastor” of the Wellington Campus Congregation, and I am quickly discovering it exhausting work. Most pastors and lay leaders reading this are probably shaking their heads in agreement right now. Lent is a time when the already hectic life of a church gets "kicked up a notch" as Emril Legasse would say. There are special services to plan, Lenten studies to lead, and a lot of spiritual prep that needs to occur to be ready to guide the flock into Easter.  This last element is something I am especially learning about this year. My normal regime of self care has definitely not been enough, so I chose to engage a new spiritual practices this year by fasting from beer for lent.

I can guess what some of you are thinking: He is fasting? How mundane! Doesn’t every Christian (especially a pastor!) do this sort of thing during Lent? And beer? He fasts from beer??? Good God! Is beer that large a part of his life? This guy must be an alcoholic! So please let me clarify. I chose beer because it is something I enjoy. There is nothing better than having a good ale with a nice meal, or sitting down to enjoy  nice weather with friends over a craft brew. For me, it is a way to both increase my enjoyment of things (in a very moderate and responsible manner of course!) and to occasionally come down after a stressful day or meeting. So to lose this for 40 days was disconcerting, as I will address  here in a minute.

As for the fast itself, it is true that Christians traditionally engage in this practice during Lent. But I was never one of them. Lenten fasts are not a requirement for Methodists. So I never chose to partake in them growing up. Moreover, I never took on any other  seasonal practice. I never read the scriptures more than usual, never prayed if I didn’t have to, never attended a special study, etc. In my mind, there was no need to do this. Jesus was going to come on Easter regardless of what I did. The message would be the same, just as it was year after year. So, I chose to skate through Lent just like I would any other time of the year. Until this year in all honesty.

Last year, my first in full time Pastoral Ministry, I discovered that it is not enough just to know that the new life of resurrection is coming. The blanket message of Easter is not enough when you are exposed to it in the same way time after time. Therefore, if you want it to feel unique and revitalizing in your life, you need to find the ways it specifically applies to you in this place and time. This is what spiritual practices help us with. They help people reflect on their areas of brokenness and show us what God could address and bring forth new life in if we chose to open up.  Additionally, they can urge us physically us to seek out new ways to feel the Divine life at work around us. I feel I am generally pretty good with the former practices involving self-examination (introverts unite!), so I decided a tangible thing like a fast was the best way to go. 

Fasting has certainly been a challenge for me. Without beer I lost a minor coping mechanism, and a nice method of increasing my enjoyment in social situations.  In turn, I sought to fill this newly empty space in my life with God, which was difficult at first. That’s right folks, even pastor’s struggle with this sort of thing, but it improved when I finally figured out to the right approach. Eventually I learned to pray every time I would feel tempted to have a beer (which was near unbearable on some nights, especially after church council). It wouldn't be a long prayer, maybe 30 seconds or so, and I would ask God to take whatever stress was ailing me or to help me fully engage in a social situation.  If the urge for suds was strong, I sometimes prayed multiple times. Or I would have to withdraw from the immediate vicinity of the fridge to avoid temptation. It was hard, but after the initial wave subsided, I would feel an odd, peaceful satisfaction unlike anything I have ever felt before.  The “peace that passes understanding” as the Apostle Paul would put it. In this, I knew God was at work and in future instances, that feeling provided me strength to draw from. After 36 days, it has become strong source of inner satisfaction. And although I am looking forward to having a nice beer with Easter Dinner, I know I have found a much deeper way of coping or accentuating my joy. 


This was the goal of fasting all along, to allow God to have a foothold within me that God has never had before. And through Easter, it has become a way to promote new, life giving connections between myself and the Divine. This has certainly happened for me during Lent,  and I hope it has happened for those of you who have engaged in other practices. The trick now is to make this last the next 8 months, the next year, the next decade and so on. We can’t give up the inroads that God has made if we want to continue along the road to Christian Perfection. We are Methodists after all and on the Wesleyan Road to Sanctification, right?.

So, what rules and disciplines can you instill to make your Lenten changes permanent?  Or maybe you can start to think of what you will do next year? For me, my first move will not always be to beer cooler, but to instead rely on God in prayer. So what will yours be? Let us ponder this over the next few days as the new life of resurrection comes to us once again. And may the Risen Christ bless all of us during this most sacred of times.

-Bryson

 

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